A Whole List

You see I don’t do New Year’s resolutions. Not because I have anything against having a lot of plans for 365 days, but because I think it’s too much pressure and I usually forget by January 5th.

Relevance? Thanks to all these blog Award nominations these days as it turns out, I didn’t need to have to resolve to write more this year.

I have been nominated by my current favorite blogger sinawobukani.wordpress.com for the Versatile blogger Award and am very grateful because I take every award nomination as a nudge to write and that is priceless.

The Rules.
1.Thank the blogger who nominated you and include a link to their blog.
2. Nominate at least 15 bloggers of your choice. When considering a fellow blogger for the Versatile Blogger Award, keep in the the quality of their subject matter and the level of love displayed on the virtual page.
3. Link your nominees and inform them about their nomination.
4.Share seven facts about yourself..

So here is my list

1. I can actually sing.  For some weird reason I have never tried to do more than sing in the shower but I have pretty decent vocal chords. 

I surprise myself whenever I have to sing and I even have myself believing that the person who sings is my nemesis always wanting to steal my show….

Every time those cool choir people who have 20000% perfect confidence in their abilities get up their to sing am looking at them like “eeeeee mama”

2. I don’t remember the last time I was angry at anyone or anything or had a bad day. I am emotionally incapable of rage which is frustrating at times. I don’t know how to be angry.
I guess I finally found the biblical peace that surpasses human understanding.

3. If there is such a thing as a “Crier’s Award”, I think I won it.  God must have given me extra tear wells than most people because I also don’t get it.

I deny deny deny its truthfulness and I always feign  eye allergies when am caught red handed but almost every thing from goodbyes, to movies, to songs, to speeches, to poems, to weddings, to dead people, makes me cry..

I am currently praying about this very unwelcome skill.

4. I could be a cheerleader for a living. When I remotely sense any sort of ability or skill from anyone I go all
psycho supportive of them even when hardly know them.
I am beginning to think it’s also a disorder of sorts.

5. I only started taking lifts about two months ago. Regardless of how far I had to climb, I would take the stairs because I had convinced myself that the power system in Uganda was too unreliable for my trust and I was not about to be stuck between walls.

Anyway that’s all over now, the power is still unstable but  when I had to go to the 12th floor of Worker’s House twice in one morning, I decided  exhaustion was going to kill me faster than the lift, and I have never taken stairs when a lift is an option since.

6. I am obsessed with music good music.  Everyone I know except one loves music.
However I think my love for music is very irrational.  I can go on and on about a song and have you convinced that it’s the best thing you will ever listen to.

I get so excited for concerts and shows that if something happens and it gets cancelled I need a day or so to recover.
For the longest time I attended Watoto church just for the music,and my perfect idea of night out is a place where there is live band playing.

I have watched all music shows from Idol, to The Voice, to XFactor to project fame to Coke Studio Africa, to award shows you name it. I don’t know what it is with music but I think in another life I could be a music producer.

7. My idea of a perfect date is conversation.

And my nominees are
joseyphina.wordpress.com
subtleroyalty.worpress.com
susieshy45.wordpress.com
musingsofalovestruckinsomniac.wordpress.com
mrajayi.wordpress.com
takeamindtrip.wordpress.com
atimmercy.wordpress.com
ebbyslane.com
eziaha.com
apenyo.com
randomsbyarandom.wordpress.com
justifiedecstasy.wordpress.com
joeljjemba.wordpress.com
graycmusa143.wordpress.com
kunsapaul.wordpress.com

Looking forward to all your lists.

I love you for reading.

Lessons

Today’s  question interestingly is “what are the top three lessons life has taught you so far?”

Also it is the  last and 10th question from http://atimmercy.worpress.com after she nominated me for the Sisterhood Blog Award. I am thankful for you Atim,  these questions gave me a great start to my blogging year. To say it was a nudge to write would be an understatement.

The rules for the award are
1. Display the Awards logo on your blog.
2. Thank the blogger who nominated you and mention them in a link that easily links them to their own blog.
3. Answer 10 questions asked by the blogger who nominated you.
4. Ask them 10 questions of your choice.

So I have answered 9/10 questions in a space of 12 days although that was just me milking the award for whatever it was worth, because a question a day meant a post a day.

Top three lessons huh? It’s really hard to pick and choose because I have been around for a while so it’s safe to say I have learnt a lot of things from the academy of life.

Before my birthday last year I took sometime to write those lessons down because I wanted to be reminded and I shared them here http://https://ikomusana.wordpress.com/2015/04/04/the-things-i-have-learnt/?so you can go check them out and add yours to the list.  .

But today is today so my top lessons are

1. I am only responsible for what I say and how I say it  and what I do and how I do it,  and not how people perceive it
Ooh the liberation that lesson brought!!
I used to walk around with the weight of the world on my shoulders. I would worry about offending people even when I had done/said nothing wrong.
I would check and double check my every move because people have to be pleased and the million dollar lesson /discovery was, “that is a task not even Jesus Christ can pull off”.
So I resigned from my job as a baby sitter of people’s feelings and I have been singing hallelujah ever since

2. Helping people is the ultimate job.
I understand the need to make money because well the bills don’t pay themselves, but what I understand more is that there is nothing more fulfilling than helping people.
The biggest fallacy in the world is that you need to have a lot in order to help.  The world has so much need beyond material things (If you have the material things that’s icing on the cake)
I have been to a few missions and I discovered that the greatest need the world  has is love.
So yes just getting some one to a place where they know they are loved and treasured especially by the Most High God,  is the best job in the world.

3. Make the time to know yourself
Naturally when we get here, the world puts us in boxes with big fat labels.
Girl, fat, skinny, student, tall, short, Ugandan, poor, black, brown you name it and there is a label to it
So what happens is its easy to remain in that little box and go through life not knowing anything beyond.
When you decide to take the plunge and discover who the person behind the label is, the result is you break out of the jail and that’s the most freeing thing ever  .

My work here is done and my nominees who am going to ask just one question worth thousands of answers are
thelumpenmethodology.wordpress.com
acarolynn.wordpress.com
lindahanne21.wordpress.com
subtleroyalty.wordpress.com href=”josephina.wordpress.com”>josephina.wordpress.com
http://ebbyslane.com
nakkumaya.wordpress.com
shalommukuza3.wordpress.com
hopejakisa.wordpress.com
atimmercy.wordpress.com
And your million dollar question is
“What would you do if failure was not on the table? “

Hope you accept my nomination..

I love you for reading

Animals and Spaces

If you are human,  you probably have had a lazy episode or 6.

However if you’re me you have had a battle with laziness all your life, notwithstanding the threats that your life will turn out miserable if you don’t get your butt off the couch, by your well intentioned mother and your underpaid and overworked teachers throughout school…

As usual that is very useless information and my way of circling the fact that I have two questions I completely have no clue about.

Those being?
What animal best describes you and how do you like your personal space arranged?
The truth is I am not those people who feel an innate connection to the animal kingdom..
As long as any animal finds its way from wherever it is to my plate all crispy and seasoned am good.
All am saying is am not about to sign up to be an animal rights activist .

So I have not found my animal sibling yet I guess but in one of those epiphany kind of moments someone said I could be a lioness in animal kingdom but am sure they just saw my hair and got carried away that’s why.

About personal space ..I guess this is the part where I go in confession mode and say I have never owned my own room. (one of the perks of having a number of siblings)

I could have had my own room on campus but I like to have a roommate especially if she is as awesome as mine and I also don’t suffer “those I want to be alone” problems so you see how I could have no answers to how I want my personal space arranged..

The other day however I was reading a blog by Mildred Apenyo, which I highly recommend you check out  because she is awesome and will probably give you new ambition goals http://apenyo.com/ and she said that our bodies form part of our personal space .

So if my body is personal space, all covered up and free from unwarranted harassment in form of grabbing by guys downtown is how I like that part of my personal space arranged.

Special shout out to my friend who blogs at https://joeljjemba.wordpress.com/ because today is his birthday.
Happy Birthday to you skinny guy under construction,( do we need to fire your contractor because the construction is taking a while?)
Thank you for being an ardent reader of my blog and inspiring me..

I love you all for reading

The battle of the Human Species

Female friends or male friends? Which ones do you prefer and why?

Now this question…..
Up until I went to campus most of my thoughts on the male species of the human calibre were a myth.

Let’s just say that being raised by a single mum in an all girls’ family and then being sent to a single school obviously didn’t help.

Also I wasn’t  the kind who wins the curiosity award so I sat in my oblivion and hoped I would never have to go through the gruesome experience of actually having a conversation with  the opposite sex.

Well it worked for the most part because even at church I stayed as close to the female folk as possible and shunned any attempt at a friendship with a boy, because aside from the aforementioned incumbrances, there was the manufactured fear that boys were monstrous and would “use me and refuse me” ( Some random line some pastor used  to instill the fear of God in us)

It’s a whole overtly dramatic episode of how I got from there and will spare you the horror of reading and just say that, when I found myself having to share a classroom and maybe a life with guys it was like the scales had finally dropped from my eyes….

I have a way apparently with making friends with these guys from all walks of life some way out of my league. ( My friend Kunsa Paulo takes it thousands of notches higher and says I have older men)

Do I prefer them to the host of girls I have had the honor to meeting thanks to my all female world start in life?

That’s very subjective..
Each of them brings a different shade of color..

Love the girls for
The much needed fashion advice.( I mean what would I do without Charity and Chicky in my life)

Being the sounding board of all rants, rational, irrational ,confusing and everything in between.

The reminder that being female is so beautiful and should be celebrated ( My friend Mercy without even knowing it reminds me everyday)

Good old fun. It’s just nice to go restaurant hopping with Peggy,
or for concerts with Prima( my friend of  a decade plus) or for ice-cream and live band with Diana and just be…

Being cheerleaders even when your about to walk off a cliff ( They may even jump in with you ask my sisters)

I could go on but the guys need some props too

So I love the guys for

Pushing me to be better ( Kunsa takes this one although he is an overachiever so am not competing)

Having 0 drama so I don’t find the need to apologize after not texting after so much as a month..

Being all sold out about their dreams thus giving me no excuses not to pursue mine. I like that their passion can never be overrun by feelings( Thank you Joel-Joel Basoga )

Their twisted understanding of women /girls and almost everything else therefore giving me something to argue about.. ( your welcome for those teachable moments by the way)

Not being offended by my version of honesty ….

Buying me food (My occasional best friend Richard keep up the good work)

For knowing all kinds of random stuff about IT, electronics yadda yadda

And need I say it?  Not using me like the  pastor with good intentions and terrible execution had me thinking…

So who do I prefer?  Luckily I never have to choose..

I love you for reading

About Clothes

The question I have to answer today is;
“what’s your typical everyday outfit? “

Well I trust my knowledge and vocabulary about fashion and clothes as far as I can throw it.

Also I attend a university that has the audacity to tell me what and what not to wear lest I am not allowed on their ‘holy ground’ for which by the way I pay millions to be at.

So a typical day outfit is a dress or skirt and top or a pair of trousers (not jeans)  with a top.

I however have a preference. Most definitely prefer the dresses to everything else because I find them more convenient than trying to match a skirt/trouser with a top. ( I am not so crazy about playing dress up)

But if I had my way everyday I would wear a pair of jeans and a T-shirt because well what’s not to like? However since I chose a profession that will always have me in suits and a dictatorial school I guess that ship sailed  and then capsized.

Not The Day of My Dreams

Today is a weird day to be answering; “what’s a perfect day to you?”

Why?  Because I find myself attending a funeral service at All Saints for a friend’s mum..
Death is always weird territory so am not even going there but I read a powerful quote once;

     “Because death died, it lost the
      power to be the end of anything “

So if your reading and you have had to deal with loss of a loved one, I hope you find courage in the fact that death lost it’s victory at the cross…

So what is a perfect day to me?  Not today.

You’re Not Your Hair

I like to know things not in a curiosity killed the cat kind of way but in a knowledge is power kind of way.  (Totally unrelated information)

Anyway can you imagine which question I have to answer today? The brief version of it is “what are your thoughts on the natural hair trend that everyone seems drawn to or is it more than a trend? ”

Honestly am the most unqualified person to give an opinion about hair, but my friend Mercy who asked these questions is the queen of knowledge about hair she even has her own natural hair recipes if there is such a thing.

So I refer you to her blog, Atim’s Thoughts for all the information you need to fill the tonnes of gaps in my answer to her question.

I don’t get her commitment to keep it all natural but  she has her convincing good reasons.

So when she is buying mayonnaise, Shea butter and coconut oil and subjecting her blender to torture to come up with a concoction for the next hairdo  and then blogging about it, I just look on in awe…(There is something absolutely amazing about watching anyone do something they are passionate about)

But am out of my depth here, I have not the unique vocabulary to talk about hair, all I know when it comes to hair is Selector and his impeccable skills at locking my dreadlocks which I have rocked for the last two years plus…

A wise woman was told me that I am not my hair. No one is.
So my thoughts on natural hair, if you love it nearly as much as my dear Atim be all about it.

If it makes you happy honey why not?
And about it being just a trend or something that’s here for the long haul, I think natural in whatever form, color or size never runs out of style..

But whether it’s natural,
Or has had a lot of help from hair products so it’s all Brazilian even if we both know you hail from Fort Portal like me,

Or you change it up every few weeks or keep a single style for years,

Or you just got done with it and you got yourself a good old hair cut..

Or if half the time you don’t even know what your hair looks like thanks to the invention of those lovely or wild and torturous hair pieces..

Your not your hair
It doesn’t define you…

Hope I answered the question

Ps: I love you for reading

The Age Old Question

Two questions down, 8 to go..
What did I sign up for?
Although when I was answering question two I may have gotten carried away with presidential debate things but who wasn’t?
I mean nations have held these shenanigans since the 60s and we in the Pearl of Africa just had our first one.
It’s safe to say we are right in the middle of history people.

My point?
Please I beseech thee to look beyond my attempt at political analysis, and read my answer to whether I would choose being a stay home  or a career woman right hear https://ikomusana.wordpress.com/2016/01/16/question-number-2/

Now onto today’s delightful question.

What is love to you?

Good question.. One that has no definite single answer..
It’s the age old question that people have been circling for as long as I can remember..

Weirdly  know one seems to get it right
So ya?  What is love to me?

God is love( Am wearing my preacher hat for this one)
The good book says that whoever doesn’t love ,doesn’t know God because God is love.. (1 John 4:8)

You see that’s the most non-confusing,   never changing truth about love.
God’s expression of love was and still is Christ..

Am not being theological, am saying that none of us can truly experience love in all its versatility and awesomeness until we experience the unfathomable, unchangeable & unconditional love of God.

Love is not a feeling that your going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

It’s not the tingly feeling in your stomach when he/she looks at you.

It’s not the the fairy tale where girl meets boy and they live happily ever after in a castle

It’s not sex

It’s not a picture of a guy holding a girl’s hand and they are taking walk on the beach..

Its not a lot of things but maybe all those things depending on the context can be an expression of love..

Love is the knowledge that you are wanted,  treasured and hand picked by the most High God..

And once that knowledge is well pasted  on your heart, expressing it to anyone 1Corinthians 13 style is very effortless..

Love is a choice…

Patience, kindness, tolerance,  humility, not keeping a record of wrong , selflessness and the rest of those become a lifestyle..

Love never fails, if it fails then it is not love because well God never fails..

PS: I love you for reading

Question Number 2

The commitment to answer a question yesterday got over run by the 1st ever presidential debate right here in the pearl of Africa and was it fun or what?

Right now am trying really hard not to make this about the debate where by the way I learnt some profound lessons.

1. President Museveni doesn’t give a damn about all you urbanites and your version of democracy..
He is not debating with the rest of you folks who think he needs to retire.
He is too busy campaigning in a place where after 30 years people neither have a television nor care who Allan Kasujja is.
Actually they are the ones who vote.
He is like..

And what are you gonna do about it

2.

There is the face of Mr Clueless

Mabirizi is just the best. He taught me that you don’t have to know sh*t to run for president in this country.
Who vets these people? How in the name of everything that is good did he end up here?
He could have been in his own version of Fun Factory at this point
But he gets an A for effort and for being a part of history..
He took a plunge.. He may have hit his head but hey he showed up.

Yes that's about right

3. Don’t trust Amama Mbabazi.. This guy’s arrogance is almost attractive.
I kept waiting for a single moment when he would take one chance to own up to his reign of terror and corruption, before he turned into a woman scorned and nothing.
He dodged the tough questions and even asked tougher questions..
His answer to whether he supports gay people was somewhere in the region of if you think think am gay, feel free to come and take it for a spin…

He got no shame, no remorse and lots of arrogance

4. You have to hand it to a general who uses sports metaphors..  General  Biraro taught me that presidential debate or not always carry your sense of humor

There is more where that came from

5. The judiciary should hire Professor Venasius Baryamureeba.
I know for a fact that court registries are rotting with decades worth of files.

Wouldn’t it be nice to put “Mr I am a professor of IT” on it..
God knows my job would be way easier if  every court file was a click away.  .
He could even create an app for it.

I trust him to make my job easy but not to be my president

6. When your the only lady in a battlefield with men, the best strategy  is to completely go off script, come armed with your answers and deliberately disregard the questions.

She did a pretty good job of telling us what she stands for..
Who cares about oil and policy when the grass is greener on one side of the Nile right? ( Some one hand this girl a seat in parliament for the Eastern region already)

She was on fire

7. Dr Kizza Besigye’s entire manifesto might as well be named “The Museveni Hate Speech”
I mean he just can’t help  himself but point out what’s wrong with this government
Which makes me wonder, has he been too busy finding out what’s wrong that he has had no time to manufacture great ideas? ( A lot of people have criticised him for being weak on matters of policy but then again doesn’t he have a point?)

His solemn promise is to make us all in Uganda walk with swagger

8. Dr.  Abed Bwanika takes all.  He slayed that debate.  He did his homework and proved that he knows his stuff.
He was eloquent, smart and answered every question without a shade of ambiguity.
The rest of the bunch sure can pick a leaf or better still uproot the whole tree.
He was amazing and my absolute favorite
If president’s were determined by debates then ladies and gentlemen I present to you His Excellency Dr Abed Bwanika.

As of last night, that's my president

On a completely unrelated note I have a question to answer  from http://www.atimmercy.wordpress.com which is
“Stay home mum or career woman? “

The career shall definitely be pursued from every angle.
Why?
Because its the reason I pump my head with all kinds of laws and all other related matters everyday regardless of the weather, mood or amounts of sleep.

Because my kids need to know that being a great mother doesn’t mean that you have to sacrifice your dreams.

Because there is too much the world has to offer beyond the matrimonial home.

Because I don’t want to wake up somewhere in my forties and realise that my life passed me by..

Because every woman is so much more than the name by her Mrs and the children she bears.

Because it’s not the 70s anymore and so we don’t roll like that.

Because some one is going to get themselves in lots of trouble some day and am going to have the absolute sheer joy of getting them out of jail.

Because all those amazing suits, bags and heels aren’t going to wear/carry themselves..

Because I can…

Because Mother Dearest was not a stay home mum, and I don’t know if you have met me but I turned out pretty awesome …

PS: I love you for reading

Tough Questions

Life is pretty amazing. How you ask?
I learnt the last few days I spent smart phone less that my brain,
is way more functional than I give it credit for.
Also that aside from keeping me in the dark about people’s business that’s always front and center on social media I can survive outside of the superficial world smart phones created..
Point is its good to be back..

So again I say life is amazing but this isn’t about life and all the amazeballness  it carries around.
This is about answering questions raised by her Royal
Inspirer my fave blog buddy who takes this more seriously than me.
Her name is Atim and she blogs at Atim’s Thoughts.

She nominated me for the Sisterhood Blog Award. Part of her job as nominator is to ask me 10 questions and my job is to answer them..
This nomination was days ago but as my excitement to write brewed so did my phones need to die never to resurrect.

But thank God for two weeks internships and bosses who dont make the cast of horrible bosses, am all new yeared up with a phone!!

Where were we? Yes questions that need answers. They are 10 questions
some requiring more lengthy answers
than others..
So in the Spirit of giving each question an exhaustive answer I have decided to answer a single question in a single blog post..
(Sounds like Iam  milking the award for everything its worth)

1. Are you a feminist? Do you think feminism is overrated?
Eeeee this is huge!! But since you ask yes I am a feminist and I absolutely resent the notion that feminism is overrated.

Feminism is a movement to get girls/ women a seat at the same table with men and without the efforts of those my  ninjas, right now  I would probably be in labour with my 18th child instead of sipping away on life and its amazeballness.

I have been to various places in this country where the girl child is taught to dutifully follow marching orders of every male that crosses her path.

The result, she gets defiled and has a baby at 15.

She  suffers fistula and whatever other complications that come with teenage pregnancy.

She drops out of school, gets married off for a few goats to a man old enough to be her great grandpa who has children of the same age as her
.
She gets more babies and digs her way through her twenties.

When she is thirty she looks like she is 50 and discovers all that digging is taking a toll on her body.

She suffers abdominal pain and and heads to a health centre 2 or 4 and an unqualified nurse tells her it will pass and gives her expired panadol.

She discovers years and tonnes of herbs later, that, that pain was actually the victory dance of cervical cancer matching it’s way to stage four

She makes a trip to Mulago’s  cancer institute and because she has no way of getting the best treatment money can buy she succumbs to it eventually..

And yes I know there are gaps in that account, and maybe that is even a rosier story because she dies young and doesn’t have to live her entire lifetime knowing her potential has its  jurisdiction limited to the kitchen and bedroom (all lights out), but feminism is the reason I get to even express that gap-filled story of the African Woman deep down in Rwamukoka..

We are lucky, actually scratch that we are blessed that someone or group of people rose up to the occasion and said, “look these girls may have different body parts but they sure have the same brain, so let’s treat them as equals”.

Funny story women still have a point to prove even in this day and age even before our male peers we share an office or classroom with.

Half the time he will get a promotion she deserves more, because well the boss doesn’t want to deal with her absence when she takes maternity leave…..

I remember my Jurisprudence class last semester when we covered Feminism and how most of my male classmates vehemently ridiculed the idea of marital rape because consent to marriage apparently equals consent to sex, when, where, how he wants it.

At the work place her boobs take priority over her brain at least until the contrary is proved by putting in twice as much work to get half as much pay….

Okay I think I made my point but in case something got lost in translation let me make one last quick one…

When he that me fathered decided to pay his bail and leave, do you know what I would have really appreciated?
I would have appreciated keeping my home and him paying cold hard cash everyday until I turned 18.

Point is, had there been a strong arm around mother dearest’s shoulder to tell her she deserves all of that and more, who knows maybe she wouldn’t have had to work so hard have to raise four girls she didn’t conceive by the power of the Holy Spirit..

I think emasculating men in the name of feminism is wrong, I think the male species is one of a kind and we need them.

But I also think feminism is the best thing and continues to be the best thing that happened to the female species.
Does it have its serious shortcomings? Sure.
But at least it stands up for that teenage girl in Kapchorwa who is about to be mutilated, and tells her that she was created for more than objectification

So yes I am a feminist because you’re either a feminist or a sexist…thank you Mercy for asking

Otherwise how are you doing?
Happy New Year..

PS I love you for reading..
Let me know what you think..